


Why not me?

by Jeongguki



Series: Please be mine [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, But it's still cute, Canon Compliant, Coming Out, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, How Do I Tag, Hwang Hyunjin is a Confident Gay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jealous!Jeongin, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, My First Fanfic, Past Seo Changbin/Hwang Hyunjin, Please Don't Hate Me, Shy Yang Jeongin | I.N, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, Sort Of, Yang Jeongin | I.N is Whipped, Yang Jeongin | I.N is a Panicked Gay, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeongguki/pseuds/Jeongguki
Summary: “Not that innocent, huh? Have you ever kissed someone?”“What? What's that got to do with anything? ““Nothing, just asking" Hyunjin said, trying to sound nonchalantly."have you ever kissed someone?” Jeongin asked back.Hyunjin leaned back against his cushions.“Well, there was Changbin of course, but before that, there was this really cute boy at my school, I think he made me realize I'm gay… No wait, I first thought about liking boys because of Got 7’s Jinyoung, obviously-““Hyung!”...Or Hyunjin telling the maknae about all the boys he's kissed before, but the younger doesn't seem to like it. At all.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: Please be mine [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2205831
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	Why not me?

**Author's Note:**

> hi, okay this is my first fic, I hope you like it :)
> 
> I'm sorry the other members are only mentioned, this one is just about hyunin, I'll write more fanfictions in the future containing all of them!

Jeongin couldn't sleep. There were too many thoughts running through his head, thoughts concerning their upcoming comeback, their tight schedule... It was all a bit too much at the moment. He turned around for the tenth time, now facing the bed opposite him where Hyunjin was laying.

“Jinnie?” He asked in a hushed voice. “You awake?”

At first there wasn't an answer, but after a minute or so Hyunjin turned around and Jeongin saw that he was indeed awake, headphones in his ear, watching some drama on his phone. He popped one out, facing the younger.

“Jeongin? Did you talk to me?”

“Yeah but it's fine, keep watching”

“Nah, it's nothing important, I'm watching this episode for the third time”

Jeongin huffed; he would never understand why Hyunjin were so into dramas. They were way too romantic for him, gross.

“Why are you still awake?” The elder asked.

“Can't sleep”.

“You wanna cuddle?”

Jeongin looked a bit surprised, they hadn't done this for a while.

“Sure”, he answered, shuffling out of his bed and over to the other who already lifted his blanket for him. Hyunjins body was very warm, but he didn't mind. It was cosy, laying next to him, one arm wrapped loosely around the other. They were quiet for a while, simply enjoying the others presence.

“Do you mind if I watch the rest this episode? It's only about 10 more minutes.”

“It's fine, but don't expect me to stay awake.”

Hyunjin pretended to be offended and continued to watch. It took only a minute to become boring to Jeongin, so he watched Hyunjin instead. It was really cute how his eyes sparkled, how he frowned when two characters were having an earnest conversation, how his face lit up when there was a funny scene, his eyes becoming crescents.

“Cute”. Jeongin said. Did he say this out loud? Whoops.

“What?”

“You're cute when you watch stuff like that.”

Hyunjin huffed. “It's not just stuff, this is a masterpiece of storytelling.”

Jeongin snorted. Hyunjin continued to watch till the episode ended, then he put his phone down and turned to Jeongin, looking directly into his eyes.

“So... You think I'm cute?”

Seeing him this close, Jeongin wasn't so sure about that anymore. Hyunjin was beautiful, everybody knew this, but the problem was, he was even more stunning like this: Without any makeup, long blond hair undone, falling him into his eyes. Jeongin felt the urge to brush it behind his ears. He wasn’t simply cute, he was etheral.

“Nah, when I think about it, you're kinda ugly”, he said, teasing the other. Hyunjins eyes flashed, then he was throwing himself on Jeongin, tickling him until they were both breathless.

“Okay okay, I'm sorry, you're cute”. Jeongin finally said and Hyunjin let go of him again. “The cutest.”

“No, that's you”, hyunjin said

“Eww, your cheesy, hyung”.

Hyunjin just laughed.

“Well actually you're more hot than cute nowadays” Hyunjin said bluntly and Jeongin nearly choked.

“What?”

Hyunjin propped himself up on his elbows.

“Well, it's true, you aren't our cute baby bread anymore, not since you started working out with binnie hyung all the time. Even STAY think so.”

Jeongin blushed a bit, it was weird hearing Hyunjin saying those things about him.

Of course hyunjin noticed the pink colour on his cheeks.

“Aww, but inside you're still our innocent baby, right?” Hyunjin teased.

Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself.

“Im not that innocent!” He stated. “I'm almost 21!”

Hyunjin snorted at that.

“Not that innocent, huh? Have you ever kissed someone?”

“What? What's that got to do with anything? “

“Nothing, just asking" Hyunjin said, trying to sound nonchalantly.

Jeongin thought about it for a moment.

“Well, Jisung kissed me once back when we were trainees…”

“AHA! So it did happen!” Hyunjin said triumphantly.

“…but it was really gross. Please don’t tell STAY about it!”

“I wont, promise”

“So… have you ever kissed someone?”

Jeongin asked back, even though he thought he knew the answer.

Jeongin knew the other has had a crush on Changbin once, everyone of them knew since the day Hyunjin came out to them as gay right after their debut. Hyunjin had been so scared back then, scared he would have to leave stray kids, scared that they would hate him, especially Changbin. But Changbin had started crying too, simply taking Hyunjin into his arms, and Chan and Minho had reassured him that being gay isn't something to have to be ashamed of.

  
To be honest, Jeongin was a bit weirded out about the whole homosexuality topic back then, but after a long talk with Chan he understood that it was completely normal for boys to like other boys. He even saw Hyunjin and Changbin kiss a few times. But whatever it was they had, it didn't work out, partly because it was too risky for the group and partly because, as Hyunjin once put it, it didn't feel _real_ anymore after some time, whatever that meant.

But both of them seemed completely fine about it, and that mattered most.

Still, Jeongin was wondering if Hyunjin had more to tell.

Hyunjin leaned back against his cushions.

“Well, there was Changbin of course, but before that, there was this really cute boy at my school, I think he made me realize I'm gay… No wait, I first thought about liking boys because of Got 7’s Jinyoung, obviously-“

“Hyung!”

“- but this boy in my class confirmed it somehow, you know?” Hyunjin asked, ignoring Jeongin.

“So yeah, we kissed a few times at school, but his mom found out and she was really pissed... And then there was this other trainee at JYP, I won't tell you his name but _god_ he was hot, a few years older than me. I think he never debuted, he wasn't really good at anything except kissing I guess... “

Jeongins ears had turned a bright red by now, he didn't want to hear anymore but at the same time he couldn't stop listening, couldn't stop watching Hyunjin as he told him about all the boys he had kissed, wondering what it would be like to kiss those soft lips himself...

Wait what?

“And then I got to know you guys and I fell for Changbin, as you know, but before I confessed to him I kissed Felix-“

“You did what?” Now Jeongin was utterly confused.

“Haha, have I never told you? It was nothing special, we were just talking about stuff and he said he had never kissed a boy so I kissed him. It was cute.”

He giggled at the memory. Jeongin got a strange feeling in his chest, something he couldn't name right now.

“And after Changbin and I broke up, I wasn't feeling that good for a while and Chan was always there for me, you know how he is, and one time we got really drunk in his studio and, I don't know, it just happened, you know? But please don't bring it up in front of him, he is still so embarrassed about it-“

Jeongin had gone really quiet next to him. His heart was beating hard in his chest and now he recognized the strange feeling in his stomach: he was jealous. Hyunjin didn't notice.

“And then there was this thing with Daewhi when we were practicing for Psycho, I always found him cute and he seemed interested too. We kissed once in the practice room, out of curiosity, but apart from that, nothing really happened. He’s just too cute, isn’t he?”

He finally turned to Jeongin, his face lit up at those memories, but when he saw the others face, his smile faded.

“Innie? Everything alright?”

Jeongin couldn't answer. He just knew that he didnt want to hear any more. It hurt, knowing that Hyunjin had apparently kissed everyone except him, even though he was one of his best friends. He didn't even know if that made sense, but it just felt so _unfair_.

“Why have you never kissed me!?” The words stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them.

Hyunjin looked at him with big eyes.

“Kissed you? Why would I?” He laughed.

Jeongins heart clenched at those words and he took in a sharp breath. Why was he feeling that way?

Seeing the hurt look on the other’s face, Hyunjin knew he must have said something really wrong but it took a few seconds before it klicked.

“Oh my God, no, that wasn't what I meant, it's just- I never knew you would want me to”. He said honestly, confusion written in his dark brown eyes.

“I - do you like boys, Innie?” He said, now sounding more curious than confused.

“I don't know”. Jeongin said, not minder confused. “I think I like you?”

Oh God, did he really just say that? Panic began to take over his mind and he wanted to leave the room, or leave the country, he just never wanted to see Hyunjin again. Why was he behaving this way? Why did it hurt to know that Hyunjin has kissed so many people and had not even thought about kissing him?

He had turned away from the other, pressed his hands in front of his face in a useless attempt to hide his embarrassment. It was quiet for a moment, then Hyunjin spoke again.

“Jeongin? Hey I'm sorry”.

Jeongin didn't answer, but he slowly turned around again to face the older. They were lying really close to each other again, just staring at each other for a few moments. Jeongin was still a bit mad at the other, though he knew he was being irrational. Hyunjin had every right to kiss whoever he wanted. He just wished it were him.

His eyes fell on Hyunjins lips again, those soft lips. He must be very experienced by now, having kissed so many people...

“Jeongin?”

He lifted his eyes to meet Hyunjins gaze.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

It was a simple question, but Jeongins heart began beating faster immediatly.

“Only if you want to, of course, it’s not like you have to prove anything to me or-“

“No!” Jeongin answered too quickly. “I mean yes, I want to”.

“Okay”, Hyunjin was coming a bit closer. Jeongin could feel his breath tickle on his skin.

He was slightly anxious, he never really kissed someone before (jisung didn't count), what if he'd be really bad at it?

Pushing these thoughts away, he leaned in even closer, now only mere centimetres apart from the other’s face. He could hear Hyunjins heart beating, could count his long eyelashes, could see his cute little tooth peeking out between his lips. He wanted to kiss him so bad. He lifted his hand, touching the elder’s lower lip with his fingertips.

“You're so beautiful, Hyunjin”, he breathed out, stunned by his looks. Everything seemed so familiar and new at the same time.

“I know”, Hyunjin said, smiling, and then he leaned in and just kissed him, pressing his lips against Jeongin’s. It was just a peck on the lips, but it was cute and soft and it was over far too fast.

“Again?” he asked breathily and Hyunjin giggled, leaning in again.

This time he kissed him longer, eyes closed, one hand on the younger’s cheek. Jeongin didn't really know what to do but then Hyunjin began moving his lips slowly, carefully, and Jeongin reciprocated. When he felt Hyunjins tongue licking playfully over his lower lip he let out a surprised gasp and the older used the opportunity to part his lips. He deepened the kiss, tongue darting into Jeongin’s mouth, one hand threading gently through his hair. Jeongin was feeling hot all over his body now, he couldn't think about how close there were, about what they were doing because he was sure he would panic if he did. It felt so good, Hyunjin being all soft and slow, their tongues moving carefully against each other... But it still wasn't enough.

He put his had in Hyunjins neck, turned his head a little for a better angle and deepened the kiss even more. Now Hyunjin let out a surprised gasp. Their innocent kissing turned into something more heated, Hyunjin’s hands now desperately grabbing Jeongins Pyjama, letting out small whines between the kisses and those sounds did something to Jeongin.

He shifted his body until he was on top of Hyunjin, straddling him. He looked down at the older, both of them a little bit out of breath. Hyunjin looked so fucking beautiful like this, lips red and swollen, long blonde hair sprawling around his head, eyes quietly begging for more.

“Please...” He said, and Jeongin groaned, heat shooting down to his abdomen. In other circumstances he would be totally awkward about all of this, but it was the middle of the night and it all felt like a dream anyway so he let all of his concerns go and leaned down again, closing the distance between them.

Kissing Hyunjin was the best thing in the world, he was so soft and pliant under him, letting out small whines whenever Jeongin bit on his lip or tugged on his long hair. It still upset him a little bit that hyunjin had kissed so many others before him, but how could he blame them?

He pulled back from Hyunjins lips and kissed his jawline instead, trailing kisses down his neck. He still didn't really know how to do all of this, he just kissed him wherever he wanted, but Hyunjin seemed to really like it.

He experimentally let his tongue graze over the soft skin beneath Hyunjins ear only to bite him a second later. Hyunjin gasped and Jeongin pulled back, afraid that he hurt the other.

“I'm so sorry, I-“

“No, it's fine”. Hyunjin was looking at him, his brown eyes hooded and a bit darker than normally.

“Please, do it again”. Jeongin hesitated, then he leaned down again, kissing Hyunjins neck, biting it again, this time a bit more carefully. Hyunjin threw his head back to give him more access and Jeongin began to suck on his skin, leaving little purple marks all over Hyunjins neck. He pulled back to admire the boy beneath him.

“Fuck, you look so pretty like this”.

Hyunjin giggled, reaching his hand up to pull Jeongin down again.

“Chan hyung will hate us if he sees this” he said.

“Oh god, you’re right” Jeongin didn't think about that...

“It's alright, Innie, I can cover them up if you like. Just... Kiss me more?”

Jeongin hesitated for a moment. He still didn't know where this was going and to say he was afraid was an understatement, but at the same time it was Hyunjin, his Hyunjinnie, breathtakingly beautiful and lovely, and he trusted him.

  
So he gave in to Hyunjins pulling hands, colliding their lips once more. Both of them sighed at the feeling. The kiss was slow, languid, like they had all the time in the world. One of Hyunjins hands was in his hair, pulling slightly, the other traveling down his spine, resting on the small of his back. Carefully, Hyunjin put his hand underneath Jeongin’s sweater, grazing his long fingers lightly over his skin.

“Jeongin-ah” the older hummed. “Can I... Can I take this off?”

He tucked on the sweater, hooded eyes pleadingly looking up at him. Jeongin hesitated, he still wasn't so confident about his body, even if he did become a lot buffer since he started working out with Changbin.

“Please” Hyunjin added. “I want to see you”.

And who was he to deny hwang hyunjin a wish? So he nodded, and Hyunjin lifted the younger’s hoodie up and took it off, admiring his toned body.

“You look so hot, Innie”, Hyunjin breathed.

“Ahh, stop it, please” Jeongin said, averting his eyes.

“Would it be less awkward if I were naked too?”

Seeing the younger eyes widen, he quickly added “not completely naked, I- I could just take off my shirt, we don't have to do more.”

~

With the way they just kissed, Hyunjin almost forgot how innocent and unexperienced Jeongin was.

  
Jeongin seemed okay with that though, so Hyunjin slowly took off his shirt, eyes not leaving Jeongin’s. He could see the other inhale at the sight of him and couldn't repress a smug grin. He knew how good he looked, even if he wasn't build like Changbin or Chan Hyung. Hyunjins body was lean, soft and strong at the same time, his skin almost perfect, seemingly glowing in the damp light of their bedside lamp.

He saw Jeongin’s eyes wander over his body slowly, shyly. Of course they had seen each other naked before, there was no other way if you live with eight guys and had to share a single bathroom. But this was something different, something so more much more intimate.

He’d never thought Jeongin would do something like this with him. He always liked their maknae a little bit too much, and after his breakup with Changbin his feelings for Jeongin had turned into a little crush, but he never dared to make a move, had been sure the other would be grossed out. It was enough for him that he could be more affectionate with him than the younger was with other members, because for some reason he didn’t mind skinship so much when it came from Hyunjin.

But not in his dreams had he imagined the younger liking boys, liking _him_.

~

Jeongin couldn’t stop staring at the other. It was like Hyunjin was only his at this moment, like he was the only person allowed to see this beautiful boy like this. He wanted to keep this image in his memory forever.

He grazed his fingers over Hyunjins arms, his chest, his slim waist.

“Ahh, it tickles”, Hyunjin giggled. “Can you… can you touch me a bit harder, Innie?”  
Jeongin swallowed. He wanted to, but at the same time he was afraid of hurting the other… He slowly applied pressure, digging his fingertips into Hyunjins soft skin.

“like that?” Jeongin asked, still a little shy. Hyunjin nodded, eyes never leaving Jeongin.

“Yes”, he breathed, “harder?”

It seemed like Hyunjin was a bit shy about this, too, and for some reason that reassured Jeoning. He grabbed him a bit more harshly, hands still on his waist and Hyunjin let out a small moan before quickly covering his mouth with his hands.

Jeongin leaned down and kissed him again, rougher and deeper than before, their teeth clanking against each other but none of them cared. Hyunjin let out soft whimpers between the kisses, Jeongins breath hitched.

  
He could feel that he was growing really hard by now but he pushed that embarrassing thought away and focused on the boy beneath him. He wanted to make Hyunjin feel good, to be good for him. He was laying fully on top of the other by now, Hyunjins right hand raking through his dark hair, the other holding onto his waist while they kissed and Jeongin was sure there was no better feeling in this world.

That was until Hyunjin buckled his hips up, unintentionally rubbing their errections against each other. Both of them still wore their sweatpants but it felt _so good_ , so intense, and after a short moment of shock where they just stared at each other, Hyunjin lifted his hips again and Jeongin groaned, letting his head fall against Hyunjins shoulder.

“Is this okay, baby?” Hyunjin asked softly.

Jeongin didn't answer in fear that more awkward sounds would leave his mouth if he opened it, so he grinded down on Hyunjins crotch instead and now they both whimpered. It felt so fucking good and Jeongin repeated the motion, again and again, each time eliciting more high and sweet sounds from Hyunjin.

It was slightly uncomfortable, the material of his sweatpants rough against his hard dick, but he couldn't stop, and neither could Hyunjin. They kissed again, both a bit breathless and uncoordinated, but it was so _hot_ , Hyunjins body under him, his hands raking all over the youngers back, hips rolling against each other. Jeongin let out a small moan, he was getting close-

“We- we have to stop, or-“

Jeongin managed to press out. He didn't want to come in his pants, it would be so embarrassing and messy if he did.

So hyunjin stopped his movements, looking up at him with hooded eyes. His hand slowly reached down, letting his fingers rest on the waistband of Jeongins briefs.

“Innie? Can I…?”

Jeongin hesitated; he was a little embarrassed about the size of his dick, to be honest. It wasn’t _that_ small, but it wasn’t big either. Hyunjin seemed to feel his hesitation.

“Its okay baby, I don’t have to look if you don’t want me to”.

“No, its fine, just… please”

Jeongin didn’t even know anymore what he wanted exactly, he just needed release, he needed Hyunjin.

The elder let his fingers slide underneath his briefs and then his hand was carefully wrapping about his errection and _oh god_. He didn’t know it would feel so good to have someone else touch him like this. Hyunjin began to stroke him slowly, languidly, all the while looking directly into his eyes.

“Hyunjin - ah!”

Jeongins brain stopped working for a while. Then he realised that the angle must be uncomfortable for Hyunjins hand so he shifted his body, laying beside the elder now. Hyunjin pulled the others pants further down for better access and began stroking him again.

“Do you like it, baby?” he asked breathlessly.

“Oh God, feels so good, Jinnie”.

Hearing that nickname did something to Hyunjin and he took Jeongins hand, leading it to his own crotch.

“Touch me too?”

He was looking at Jeongin with those hooded eyes again and Jeongin could see a large wet spot on Hyunjins pants were the precum leaked through. Jeongin watched with big eyes as Hyunjin slowly pulled his boxers down with one hand, making a bit of a show of it, the other hand still wrapped around Jeongins lenght.

When Hyunjin finally pulled his cock out, Jeongin couldnt repress a sigh.

“Oh God, Hyung, even your dick is beautiful” he said and Hyunjin giggled, then he began stroking Jeongin faster and the younger groaned again, putting his hand around Hyunjins length. Hyunjin moaned at the contact and Jeongin thought it was the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. What did he do in his past life to be rewarded with Hyunjin, laying next to him being so fucking amazing, getting each other off?

He tried his best to give Hyunjin an acceptable hand job but he was so distracted by Hyunjins long fingers around himself, stroking him in a fast but even pace, thump grazing over the head of his dick, smearing precum all over it. He could feel heat building up inside of him, he was so close, his own hand wrapped around the others cock-

“Hyung, I think I'm gonna-“

"It's alright, come for me, Innie".

And then he came, and it was so much more intense than all the times he did it by himself. Cum was shooting all over the mattress and on Hyunjins stomach and it was so messy, but for once he didn't care. It was so perfect, Hyunjin looked so hot next to him, long sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, silent moans leaving his full lips.

Jeongin needed to feel them again, so he pulled him close and kissed him, long and deep, all the while still stroking Hyunjins dick, one hand tangled in the other s long hair, pulling softly.

"Innie, I'm so close, please-"

And then Hyunjins hips stuttered, he whined into the kiss and came all over his stomach and Jeongins hand.

  
They lay there for a few minutes, listening to the others heavy breaths, still holding each other and slowly coming down from their high.

“Oh my God”, Jeongin said after a while. “What did we just do?”

“I don't know either”. Hyunjin let out a shaky laugh. “Did you like it?”

“It was the best fucking thing in my life, Hyung”, he answered honestly and Hyunjin laughed at that, resting his head on the youngers breast.

“Yeah, I liked it too.”

.

After another 10 minutes Jeongin decided to get up and clean them up a bit (Hyunjin wanted to stay in bed and just cuddle but Jeongin insisted that sleeping with cum drying on their bed and bodies was just too messy). He got a warm ant wet towel and gently cleaned Hyunjin who was already very tired, before going to the bathroom again to take a quick shower.

  
Then he slipped under the blanket next to Hyunjin who immediately pulled him closer.

“Need cuddles” Hyunjin mumbled against his shoulder. Jeongin snuggled closer, pressing a soft kiss against his lips.

“Can I ask you something, Hyung?”

“Mhm, anything”, Hyunjin said in a sleepy voice.

Jeongin hesitated.

“Um… did you.. did you do this kind of stuff with others before me?"

At this Hyunjin opened his eyes again.

"Only with Changbin and once with Chan... why do you ask?" He seemed curious.

Jeongin let this information sink in for a moment, but decided that he didnt really want to imagine that.

"It's just... Did this thing... Did it mean anything to you? Or was it just to, I dont know, to help me out or something?"

His heart began beating faster again. What if it didn’t mean as much to Hyunjin as it meant to him? Did the other really like him? Or was he just some other cute boy to share some kisses with?

Seeing the panic in Jeongins eyes, Hyunjin cupped his cheek with a hand.

"Oh baby no, of course it meant something to me. Probably even more than it did to you" He laughed a bit sadly.

"What do you mean by that?" Jeongin asked confused.

"Nothing, Innie. Let's talk about it tomorrow, maybe. I'm really tired".

He rested his head on the youngers chest again. Jeongins body was tired too, but his mind didnt seem to care.

"Hyunjin? Can you promise me something?"

"Mhm, sure" Hyunjin answered sleepily.

"Can I... can I be the only one you kiss, from now on?" He was slightly afraid of the answer. Was he asking too much?

But Hyunjin just chuckled. "Are we being possesive?" he said teasingly. “Of course you'll be the only one, if you want me to”.

A weight fell of Jeongins chest and he hugged the other even more tightly.

“But I can be extremely clingy”, Hyunjin warned him.

“Really? YOU can be clingy, Hyunjin? Never knew that" Jeongin said, supressing a yawn.

Hyunjin giggled at that. "Good night, baby".

Jeongin felt so happy, so content, having Hyunjin in his arms. There was still so much more to talk about, but right now, it was perfect.

"Good night, Jinnie".

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think of this :)
> 
> Kudos and comments are very appreciated!!! <3


End file.
